Grief has no deadline, and most people get through it without therapy. A grief counselor is worth seeing when the pain is not easing with time, when it is keeping you from your own life, or when you do not want to carry it alone. Here is how to tell the difference, and how grief counseling works in Sarasota.
How long does grief normally last?
There is no fixed length. For most people the symptoms of grief begin to decrease over time 1. A research review describes the usual course as a period of intense, acute grief followed by what clinicians call integrated grief. The loss is still there, but it sits more in the background and you can take part in life again. In population studies that shift tends to come roughly 6 to 12 months after the loss 2.
Hard days still come. Feelings of grief can rise again at different points, and that does not usually call for treatment 1. Early grief can also be fierce. Intense emotion after a loss is normal and, in the reviewers’ words, should not be pathologized 2.
Signs it may be time to see a grief counselor
For a small group of people the intense grief persists, and it is severe enough to stop them from continuing with their lives 1. The American Psychiatric Association estimates this affects 4 to 15 percent of bereaved adults 1, and one review puts it at approximately 10 percent 2. The formal name is prolonged grief disorder.
Clinicians consider it when the loss was at least a year ago for an adult, or six months ago for a child or teenager, and at least three of the following have been present nearly every day for the last month 1:
- Feeling as though part of yourself has died
- A marked sense of disbelief about the death
- Avoiding reminders that the person is gone
- Intense emotional pain, such as anger, bitterness or sorrow
- Difficulty returning to friends, interests and plans for the future
- Emotional numbness
- Feeling that life is meaningless without the person
- Intense loneliness
The risk is greater when a death was very sudden or happened under unnatural circumstances, and when someone has little social support 1.
You do not have to match that list to come in. Wanting somewhere to talk is reason enough, and no diagnosis is needed to schedule a grief counseling appointment at MindSol.
Why this comes up so often in Sarasota
Sarasota County is older than most of the country. Census Bureau estimates put 38.8 percent of residents at 65 or over, against 22.8 percent for Florida and 18.9 percent for the United States 3.
In practice that means more people here are losing husbands, wives, siblings and lifelong friends, sometimes several within a few years. And if you retired to Sarasota from somewhere else, the family who would normally gather round may be a flight away. A lack of social support is one of the recognized risk factors for grief that does not ease 1, which is part of why counseling and support groups matter in a community like this one.
What grief counseling involves
Treatments that use elements of cognitive behavioral therapy have been found to reduce the symptoms of prolonged grief 1. One widely used approach is a structured program of 16 sessions that has reduced symptoms in several randomized controlled trials 2. The work has two sides. One is accepting the reality of the loss. The other is restoration, which means working toward goals and some sense of satisfaction in a world without the person 1.
Many people never need a formal program. For them counseling is a steady, private place to say what is hard to say at home, including the anger, the guilt and the numbness that often come with a loss.
Support groups help as well. Being around people who have been through something similar can make you feel less alone 1.
Grief that is not about a death
People also grieve the end of a relationship, the loss of a job, or a pregnancy that ended. MindSol’s therapists see people for all of these. We also offer end of life counseling for people who are terminally ill and want to talk through fear, old resentments or forgiveness while there is time.
Sometimes grief brings other problems with it or makes existing ones worse. If what you are feeling has started to look more like depression, your therapist can help with that too, and our page on depression therapy in Sarasota explains how.
Getting started in Sarasota
MindSol Wellness Center is an outpatient therapy practice at 715 N. Washington Blvd, Suite E in downtown Sarasota. You can read more about grief counseling in Sarasota before you get in touch, or about individual counseling if you are not sure grief is the right word for it.
Sessions are in the office or by secure video anywhere in Florida, and our page on virtual therapy covers how that works. The first step is a short call with a care coordinator, who will ask what is going on and match you with a therapist.
Frequently asked questions
Is it too soon to see a grief counselor?
No. There is no waiting period. The one year mark applies to a formal diagnosis 1. It has nothing to do with when you are allowed to ask for support.
Is it too late if the loss was years ago?
No. Prolonged grief is, by definition, grief that has lasted more than a year 1. People do come to counseling long after a loss.
Do I need a diagnosis to start?
No. You can schedule a grief counseling appointment at MindSol without one.
Can grief counseling be done by video?
Yes. MindSol offers sessions in the office or by secure video anywhere in Florida, so you can choose whichever is easier.
References
- Prolonged Grief Disorder, American Psychiatric Association
- Prolonged Grief Disorder: Course, Diagnosis, Assessment, and Treatment
- QuickFacts: Sarasota County, Florida; Florida; United States, U.S. Census Bureau
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